A blessing and a curse?

Everything has an equal and opposite reaction, right? There wouldn't be a top if there wasn't a bottom. There wouldn't be a good if their wasn't an evil.

I'm learning (quite painfully, I might add) about how my actions, thoughts, and feelings have good consequences and bad ones.

I love my family and friends. I put up with a lot of crap from them, too. But I still love them. I'm terrified of what might happen to them. I'm scared for them and their consequences. I know that I must let them live their lives and learn from their mistakes but I can't help but get involved. That causes friction and "talks from Mom" on how I'm only their sister or friend and there's nothing I can do. A blessing and a curse.

Because of my insanely infinite love for these people in my life, I want to be a part of everything they do. I don't wanna be so caught up in my own life that I don't seem to care about what is going on in their lives. So maybe I've missed out on some opportunities. That doesn't mean I won't get others. But I've seen too many people lose people they love and wished they would've spent more time with them. I don't want to do that. But I don't want to miss out on my own life, either. I need to find a balance which is harder than I thought. A blessing and a curse.

I guess what I'm trying to do is gain some independence but not lose sight of what is important. To not forget where I come from and what's going on. I never, ever want to be too busy to call Mom or meet Dad for coffee. But I want to have a career, a social life, and a great life in general. But no one can do that for me anymore. I'm 19 years old. It's time I start acting like it.