Six years ago, my grandmother passed away from a long battle with breast cancer. It was a difficult time for my family because my grandmother was what everything was centered around. She was the glue that held our family together. From the closet full of candy to the weekend camping trips, she was always a part of our lives.

After her passing in September, a song came on the Christian airwaves called "Dancing With The Angels" by (the incredibly underrated!) Monk & Neagle. There could not have been a greater song to come at that time of grieving. The words expressed feelings we were unable to during that time. It also got us through the deaths of my great-grandparents.

Recently, a friend of ours lost their battle with cancer. He was seven years old. Not long after that, my uncle passed away. For some reason, I couldn't find comfort in "Dancing With The Angels" That's when I turned to the very talented Danny Gokey and his song "I Will Not Say Goodbye" This song was about his wife who passed away from a heart condition. The music video shows several military families dealing with the loss of their brave family members in war. This song speaks volumes about the different emotions: Grief, denial, anger, acceptance.

These songs got me through those difficult times. My family has lost a lot of people close to us over the past six years. It just doesn't seem fair that we're going on with our lives without them. It's been really hard planning Aislinn's wedding without my grandmother. She would be having so much fun! And if you knew my grandmother, you know how true that is. She would be glowing more than Aislinn! My uncle had a great laugh that is missed at parties. It's funny the things you miss about a person once they're gone. The stories my great-grandparents used to tell that made you wonder if they were real or if their were just entertaining you...good times.

Last week, two people I care about got diagnosed with cancer. My cousin is a very fun, sweet lady who has colon cancer in her liver. The other is a 17-year old kid from the church I used to go to who has leukemia. I know way too many people who have had cancer or still do. I just have to say that I HATE hearing when someone has cancer. I HATE IT! Nothing makes my heart sink more than hearing someone, especially someone I know and love, has been diagnosed with that evil disease.

So while this started out as a post on grieving, I think these songs still fit in with the previous paragraph. I'm dealing with this news in the best way I can. If it comes in melodic form, than so be it. I need to be brave for them. Then again "Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid" (Franklin Jones)

____________________________-
Sometimes the road just ends
It changes everything you've been
And all that's left to be
Is empty, broken, lonely, hopin'
I'm supposed to be strong
I'm supposed to find a way to carry on

I don't wanna feel better
I don't wanna not remember
I will always see your face
In the shadows of this haunted place
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say goodbye

They keep saying time will heal
But the pain just gets more real
The sun comes up each day
Finds me waiting, fading, hating, praying
If I can keep on holding on
Maybe I can keep my heart from knowing that you're gone

I will curse
I will pray
I'll relive everyday
I will shoulder the blame
I'll shout out your name
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say
Will not say goodbye
(Danny Gokey - I Will Not Say Goodbye)


_________________________
Memories surround me
But sadness has found me
I’d do anything for more time
Never before has someone meant more
And I can’t get you out of my mind

There is so much that I don’t understand
But I know…

You’re dancing with the angels
Walking in new life
You’re dancing with the angels
Heaven fills your eyes
Now that you’re dancing with the angels

You had love for your family
Love for all people
Love for the Father, and Son
Your heart will be heard
In your unspoken words
Through generations to come

There is so much that I don’t understand
But I know

We’re only here for such a short time
So I’m gonna’ stand up, shout out,
And sing Hallelujah
One day I’ll see you again
(Monk & Neagle - Dancing With The Angels)