I'm struggling, like I always do.

I've always had issues with my body.
I'm too pale.

I'm too fat.

My hair doesn't cooperate.

My feet are too wide.

I hate that I have to wear glasses.

I hate my legs.

And the list goes on.

I've never felt like I was pretty enough or skinny enough.

And even though at the time I weighed 130lbs., the guy I was dating at the time said it was "embarrassing" for me to weigh more then him.

Well, it's not my fault he was a skinny twirp that only weighed 115 lbs.

But it still hurt.

So I guess you could say it started then.

I also stopped playing sports when I switched to homeschooling.

I injured my ankle/foot a few years ago, and it makes intense exercise difficult sometimes.

I'm not making excuses, or blaming anyone.

But I'm not saying this is all self-inflicted.

I mean, I could choose to let it go and be comfortable with my body.

It's difficult, though.

Everyday, we are bombarded with images of what is considered

beautiful,

sexy,

attractive,

perfect.

And I'm not exactly a poster child for that kinda thing.

But I'm working on it.

I've accepted my body the way it is,

but I love myself too much to let it stay this way or get worse.

There is exactly one year til Aislinn's wedding.
That size that's on my dress? Well, I want it to be taken in.

A lot!

Until then, I'm singing songs like "Beautiful" by Bethany Dillon, "Believe in Me" by Demi Lovato, and "More Beautiful You" by Johnny Diaz.