Let's face it, ladies: We have all sat down with our friends and talked about the things guys can say or do to win our hearts. From storming the castle and slaying the dragon to playing your favorite song on a stereo outside your bedroom window. Okay, so maybe those examples are too cliche, but you know what I mean. Maybe your perfect guy plays the guitar and has a voice like John Mayer. Maybe he's the tall, dark and handsome type. Maybe he's a complete poindexter. It doesn't matter. Every girl has certain expectations, standards, and ideas of the kind of guy they want.

For me, it's very simple: Be a gentleman. I don't want flowers, or candy, or jewelry. I don't want to be showered with compliments or expensive dinners. I just want honesty. Someone I can respect, who respects me. And when I say respect, I mean the kind of guy who would never use the words hot, smokin', fine, or sexy to describe me. I absolutely cannot stand that. If you ever want to piss me off, all you have to do is use them, and mean it. I joke with my friends when we wear stupid outfits or look absolutely disgusting that we look "hot" or "sexy", but it's always done in jest. I respect them far too much to actually mean it. No, my friends are beautiful, gorgeous, handsome, lovely...

Considering my attitude towards marriage and families for the past twenty years, it's no wonder why I have a hard time letting a guy be a gentleman sometimes. There are not that many left in the world, and it's our fault, ladies. We have this idea that "Grr, I'm woman. I don't need a man." Well, maybe you don't, but you should still be a lady! This is why men aren't stepping up and being gentlemen. Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong, but while you were busy thumbing your nose at my statement, a man was nodding in agreeance.

Other than my father, male relatives, and the far-too-scarce random stranger, no one has ever held the door for me. I dated a guy who never, not once, held it for me. Even when my dad was watching. The first time a guy held the door open for me, I honestly didn't know what was happening. He was just a friend, and yet it was almost second nature to him. He gave me a look and extended his arm as if to hurry me along. I apologized and thanked him. It was a glimmer of hope for me. I started noticing other things they did that came so naturally, I almost didn't realize what he was doing. It wasn't a lame attempt to impress or woo someone. It was just the way they were. I would love to thank all of the moms and dads out there who are raising their sons to be gentlemen. The ladies are noticing. :)

My parents made sure we knew how to act like a lady. For as long as I can remember, my dad insisted on "daddy dates", where he went over the proper ways to treat a man and how a man should treat us. I took very careful notes on every single one of those date, whether we went to the mall, McDonald's or just to get a coffee. My daddy may not have all the answers, but for raising three daughters, he knows what he's talking about. I've been told I'm too picky. I've had people ask me, "How can you expect to find someone if you don't put yourself out there?" I just smile and say (depending the person, I usually just think it to myself), "Ladies are to be pursued." I know what they're thinking. God, she thinks she's too good for anybody. Nope, I just know that I will not settle for anything less than what I deserve. I haven't always believed this. I've known it my whole life, I just didn't believe it. Now that I do, I'm noticing that my expectations aren't "high" like people think they are. They're exactly what I need.

So, dear future Mr. Caitlin, I'm doing my very best to be a lady. The kind of lady you will need. Don't think this was about what you need to do, because I take responsibility for my actions, too. I may require some patience, though. Sometimes, I forget.

Broken, Never Beaten

Once upon a time, a couple had three daughters. They were great daughters. In fact, they were so great that for Christmas, they decided to redecorate their parents house. They started with wall decorations. Among the pieces were these stone plaques.

 The oldest daughter fell in love with them. "It's a metaphor!" she exclaimed, the first time she saw them. She waited in anticipation for Christmas Day when her parents would open the package. And they loved them. The oldest daughter couldn't wait to put them on the wall.

They would serve as a constant reminder that even the most "picture perfect" family can still be beautiful with its flaws. Even the strongest of faiths has its weaknesses. And even the deepest of loves have their breaking points.

'Nuff said!

:)

See this face?

This is the face of a girl who has made up her mind that, from this moment on, she will be

happy,

optimistic,

bold,

courageous,

honest,

loyal,

more like a duck.

She will

take more risks,

love with all her heart,

smile when it kills her,

and laugh until her body aches.

She will always be there for you, even if you aren't there for her.

But don't think she's sitting there waiting for you, either.

She's got herself a plan and she's got more than enough motivation to carry it through.

Watch out.

Caitlin is back.

:)

She believed

she could

so

she did.

This is my new motto. No more half-assed ideas and plans. I've come a long way but I still have a long way to go. Be patient with me, please. I'm ready to get on with it! :)

Something Borrowed

So, it's Friday night and we're all set to watch a movie only to realize we didn't like any of our movies. So at 7:30 pm, Aislinn and I are looking for a Redbox. Smart idea, right? It was until we realized everyone else had that same idea. All of the good movies were gone. So we grabbed a few movies and went home.

We ended up watching "Something Borrowed" with Ginnifer Goodwin (Rachel), Kate Hudson (Darcy), John Krasinski (Ethan), and Colin Egglesfield (Dex). Rachel and Darcy are best friends; Darcy is engaged to Dex who Rachel has beein in love with since college. Ethan is Rachel's best friend and is in love with her. Dex secretly loves Rachel. So if you thought that was confusing, the movie is just awful. The banter is hilarious, no doubt. But the movie itself was just horrible. And the ending!! I'm still upset over that ending. I literally hated the protagonist when it was over. I was ranting about it the next day and everyone was making fun of me. But it was the worst possible ending to a movie. Period.

I think Ethan was my favorite character. He was straight-forward and honest throughout the whole thing. He was under-appreciated, too. But during one of the several arguments in this movie, Rachel punches Ethan in the nose. Classy, right? Well, this is the conversation that followed:
Rachel: Your an a**hole!
Ethan: Yeah maybe I am. But I am the only a**hole here that gives a s**t about you.

After the movie ended and I'm trying to go to sleep, but still so very angry (I don't know why this movie made me so angry. Lol!) and I couldn't get this part out of my head. How often to I care so much about people who don't really care about me? Who don't care about my feelings, opinions, or whether or not I'm even there? I'm expected to be there, but do they really care if I'm not? I'm expected to care and assist and be there for them, but are they ever there for me when I need them? Is my inability to make a decision keeping everyone else happy while I sit in misery?

So, thank you, "Something Borrowed", for not only making me hate you, but haunting my thoughts, too.