34 Things I Hate About Me: 2010 vs. 2011

The other day, I came across a letter I had written myself. It wasn't a typical letter, but rather a list of things I hate about myself. I know what you're thinking: What an uplifting letter! I'm sure it made you smile! You'd think so, right? I looked at this letter, hoping I'd find things that I've actually changed. And there are a few that I have. Some are superficial, some are not. Some I could just decide to let go and it wouldn't matter. Others eat at me every day. Keep in mind, I wrote this letter this time last year. I guess it was sort of a New Year's Resolution list that I had forgot about, but considering that the items in bold face are the ones I've managed to change and/or are working on, I think I did pretty well. I never thought 2011 would have been so crazy. I know we've come so far, but baby, baby, we've got so far to go!

Bite nails (round 2 of "operation stop biting fingernails" commenced today. I did it once, I can do it again!)
Pop gum

Pop knuckles
Eat too much/not enough
Never really dated
Rather read alone than go to out

Hangs out at home more than friends
Best friend lives 75 miles away (well, now she's at college, but it's still closer)
Cry myself to sleep
Cry too much in general
Hate shopping so clothes suck
Not graceful

Don't do anything/wallflower

Way too quiet/awkward
Too shy
Too distant
Most days I want a husband and family, other days just don't ask

I don't know what I want to do with my life
My idea of fun isn't actually "fun"

I'm too opinionated
I'm too bossy
Too sarcastic
Wish I was thinner
Wish I was smarter
Wish I was prettier
Wish I could relate more
Wish I always had the right thing to say
Wish I could make babies laugh
Watch too much tv (I really hate tv anymore!)
Too many movies (which is surprising since there's a movie store a block away!)
I overanalyze
I overthink everything
I'm intimidated by people my own age
Procrastinate too much

Some things I can't change. It's who I am. It's a lot more to overcome than just turning off the television or deciding to go bowling instead of reading a book at home. It requires me to change my thought process, reprogram myself to know that I am enough. These things require patience and persistence. When I tell you this year has been a crazy year and one that brought a lot of changes, I'm not lying. This list doesn't even begin to describe it. That just shows you that I didn't know I needed to be changed. I was too focused on the things I hated about myself, and not the things God wanted me to change. I guess that's a good thing. Since 2011 was such a big year, I have high expectations for 2012. It's going to be MY year!