Beneath the sarcasm, quirky looks, and "whatever" attitude is an insecure girl that takes almost everything you say to heart. Whether it be positive or negative, I remember everything that is ever said to me. More importantly, I remember how it made me feel.
I had become very good at the whole "I don't need anybody" mentality. And then I realized - it sucked. I started opening up to people and before I knew it, I was making friends, having fun, and just a happier person. I think it's because we were always moving around, so it was easier on the heartache to just keep a distance as long as possible. Now that I'm letting that go, I'm loving it. :) However, I'm learning that being left is far worse than leaving. This year, everyone is leaving me. They have their reasons, and it's nothing personal towards me, but they have to do what's best for them. Will I ask them to stay? Not a chance. I am way too excited to see where their lives are taking them. My life is going places, too. Does that mean I'm not going to miss them? Of course not! But, I'm not going to sit around waiting for them to come back. This is the worst part about growing up. Everyone is going their own ways, and it's "natural", we're supposed to accept it... that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I am having a very difficult time dealing with the idea that in a few months, EVERYTHING will change. They will never be the same. And I don't like that.
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