The Not-So-Great Gatsby

November 19, 2011

Wait? They're making "The Great Gatsby" a movie? With Tobey Maguire? That comes out next winter? And I'm just now hearing about this? Absolutely unacceptable.

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I want you to know this review has been almost two years in the making. The moment I read that Leonardo DiCaprio was starring as Jay Gatsby in the remake of The Great Gatsby, I was gone. I can't tell you how hard it was for me to wait until its Christmas Day 2012 release date. It was only a few short days later that my family and friends decided I was far too excited for a movie based on a classic novel. I ceased the obsessive conversations and decided I would wait until the release date approached before mentioning it again. You can imagine my devastation when they announced that the release date had been pushed back to July 2013. I had waited so long and it seemed I had to wait a little bit longer. Finally, an etched-in-stone release date was set for May 2013, and I took that to mean it was officially an acceptable time to start talking about F. Scott Fitzgerald's masterpiece again. The Great Gatsby's release date had passed, as did most of the summer, before I finally saw the film. Armed with a Coke and Twizzlers (they were out of Sno-Caps...grr), I was more than prepared for the single greatest film experience of my life.

From opening scene to closing credits, I maintained my high hopes. I held on to the fact that Nick Carraway had a wonderful story to tell. I held on to the fact Leo, Tobey, and Carey were all phenomenal actors and could tell the story in a way that no other cast could. I held on to the fact that this was one of my favorite books and I had been looking forward to it for so long.

It turns out, my expectations were far too great. The storyline didn't stray too far from the actual novel and the cinematography was stunning, However, I was disappointed with the acting (while Leo did a great job at capturing Gatsby's dapper, yet obsessive manic, I expected a far greater performance from him) and the slow-pace in which the story unfolded. My biggest complaint? The soundtrack.

A girl, a timeless story, a highly-anticipated movie, and a major disappointment she will never get over.

Dare You To Move

Maybe redemption has stories to tell.

Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

I struggle daily with forgiveness. I have posted quotes about forgiveness to remind me that even if they don't apologize, I still need to forgive them.

Last year, I read a book called "The Devil in Pew Number Seven" by Rebecca Nichols. Her father was a minister in a small town. Though welcomed by almost everyone, there was one man who terrorized the family. When threats seemed moot, he escalated to violence, setting off explosions in their yard. One night, the man walked into their house and killed Rebecca's mother. The emotional damage this man brought to Rebecca's family, especially her father, who spent several years in and out of the hospital for anxiety issues, would be enough to ruin anyone. Rebecca mentions that years later, after this man had been in jail for years, he called Rebecca to apologize for all of the pain he caused her family. He was shocked to learn that she had forgiven him. Her story is an amazing story of overcoming tragedy and forgiving people who have hurt you. As a fellow pastor's kid, this story really resonated with me. I spent years resenting people who wronged me, but even more so, the people who hurt my family. I look back at the times I was confronted in the bathrooms by women who had nothing nice to say about my family, or the confrontations by board members who thought if they went for the defenseless children their point would be made (a chain is only as strong as its weakest link)... yes, those times were some of the minor things my family endured while in the ministry, but no one tried to blow up my house or kill my parents. If Rebecca Nichols can forgive those people, I can forgive them, too.

Friends come and go. My parents have etched that in my mind for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, I've lived my life according to a highly-controversial Dixie Chicks song, "Not Ready To Make Nice" Not exactly the Christian thing to admit, huh? I don't remember losing a friend being so traumatic in school. I guess I wasn't as emotional then or whatever. I guess I was just a different person then. All I know is I need to forgive them, too. These manipulative, lying, arrogant, untouchables that seem to wiggle their way into my life may not need forgiveness (since I have not received an apology of any kind, but instead a horrible reputation that all of my so-called friends believed instead of my word) but I'm going to forgive them. I have to - for me.

Friends come and go, but family is forever. Yes. The older I get, the more I see how that is tested and proven true. We are all imperfect. I get that. I have screwed up more than I care to admit right now. So has every single one of my family members, whether their blood or married to blood. There is something to be said of a family who fights. We fight all the time. Sometimes we're at each others throats, but most of the time we're fighting for each other. Sometimes I sit back and think, "How can they still be fighting this same battle after all this time?" Love. Whether it's romantic love or familial love, love is what makes us do what we do. Love makes us see what the other doesn't, who they are, who they can be. Love believes in us. Love encourages us. Love is us. Period. I don't care if they wrecked my car, stole my favorite sweater, or whatever the situation is - because I love them more than I realize most days - I will forgive them. They are always there for me. Even when I'm stranded in Monaca at eleven pm. Even when I have to admit I was stupid. I am always there for them, too. I might have to get over the initial shock, but I will always be there for my family - no matter who they are. So go ahead - try to mess with them. I dare you.

I don't remember a time where I truly felt worthy of forgiveness, whether it's from God or man. If I've hurt you in any way, I don't deserve it. I know what you're thinking - How can you explain why you forgive, but be so blind to why people forgive you? It's actually quite simple - I'm human. I don't believe I'm entitled to forgiveness. I understand sometimes you have to earn it. That's not the way it should work, but that's how the world works. I'm working on accepting forgiveness, but believe it or not, it's harder than actually forgiving others. You see, in accepting forgiveness from others, you have to learn to forgive yourself. Easier said than done.

Forgive those who hurt you, belittle you, and take advantage of you; but more than this, forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you.