I have spent the past two years being told I could be better.

I could always

• lose more weight - no matter the state of my health
• spend more time on my appearance - even though they made comments if I spent too much time
• work out more often - apparently two hours a day wasn't enough
• love my job more - I'm sorry that managing my department and having the highest sales record wasn't dedication enough for them
• take an interest/open my mind - people are under the illusion that I'm sheltered
• loosen up, let my hair down - I'm not a party girl. Never will be.
• chill, laid-back - dirt off your shoulders, girl.

I could always be

• more outgoing, less isolated
• more educated, less lazy
• more dedicated, less half-ass-ish
• more caring, less heartless
• more in touch with my emotions, less distant
• more involved, less excuses
• more considerate, less selfish
• more independent, less needy
• more confident, less insecure
• more open to dating, less Netflix
• more of a friend, less of a confidant
• more understanding, less ignorant
• more creative, less in denial
• more accepting, less judgmental

I was never good enough. And according to those people, I was never going to be.

But this year will be different. While I will concentrate on being better, I will not do it for someone else. I will do it for me. I will do it with an open heart instead of a guilty conscious. I will work on being a better me, instead of somebody else's idea of me.

2014:  The year to regain focus and control of my life.