Always Winter, Never Christmas

This has been the longest winter.

No, seriously.

I have never longed for warmer weather in my life.

And then when we get decent weather (60 degrees), the next day it's in the 30's.

I just don't get it.

Of course, as you know by now, I'm not just talking about the actual weather.

A post on weather would be lame.

No, I'm talking about my life.

My life, as I've mentioned before, hasn't been exactly the way I wanted.

I mean, take Narnia for example.

"Always winter, never Christmas."

That's how I felt.

It was going to be cold, dark, and bitter for the rest of my life.

I longed for the days that four strangers walked into my life and changed it forever.

Unfortunately, that never happened.

Until I least expected it.

Isn't that how it works though?

You wait, and wait, and wait...think you've given up...and then

BAM!

Someone comes into your life and you think

"Really? You're the one I've been waiting for?"

And they have no idea.
(Yes, these people have been mentioned in previous posts.)

I can't mention specifics right now because it's a work in progress.

Just sit back and read my future posts, you'll be as amazed as I am.

But, I've felt like I have had no choice but to bundle up and brave the wind and snow.

It seemed to never stop.

And when I'd catch a glimpse of the sun, it disappeared.

Just as quickly as it appeared.

It came to the point where I didn't want to leave the house.

Why should I?
Of course, I couldn't help but think "There are people with far worse circumstances and here I am wallowing in self-pity"

It was a hard thing to come out of though.

No job, no idea what I wanted to do with my life, no sense of self-worth.

Always winter.

But, with these people who miraculously walked into my life, I've noticed a change.

My attitude is different.
My outlook is optimistic.

And my self-confidence (though still hanging by a thread) is growing.

So thank you for your prayers.

I'm feeling them.

And holding tight to the words found in the songs posted below.

Love you all!

(And I'm sorry if this post doesn't make sense...my day has been frustrating!!)

My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused
I see the things You do through me as great things I have done. And now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me and hold me as my father and mold me as my maker.
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."
At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged, knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job.
For who am I to serve You? I know I don't deserve You.
And that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on.
As I walk with You, I'm learning what Your grace really means.
The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary.
So, instead of trying to repay You, I'm learning to simply obey You by giving up my life to you for all that You've given to me.
--Grace - Laura Story

I don’t really know how long forever is

But that’s how long I’m gonna give my life
Everything I face, it tries to tear me down
No I won’t back away from the sacrifice
I won’t forget what you’re love means to me
You’re always there to light my way
When all the lights go down and the world is quiet
No one is around
I wanna be the same man that will serve you then
Like I serve you now
That my convictions never change
O let my need for you remain
As real as the moment I was saved
I will always stand amazed
Sometimes my heart desires such selfish things
When the moment comes help me to trust
Something better that you have for me
If I could just hold on to you enough
I won’t forget what you’re love means to me
You’re always there to light my way
You will be my strength when I am weak
When I wanna give in and not turn the other cheek
Let this be the prayer that I speak
That I speak
--Stand Amazed - 33Miles