Dare You To Move

Maybe redemption has stories to tell.

Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

I struggle daily with forgiveness. I have posted quotes about forgiveness to remind me that even if they don't apologize, I still need to forgive them.

Last year, I read a book called "The Devil in Pew Number Seven" by Rebecca Nichols. Her father was a minister in a small town. Though welcomed by almost everyone, there was one man who terrorized the family. When threats seemed moot, he escalated to violence, setting off explosions in their yard. One night, the man walked into their house and killed Rebecca's mother. The emotional damage this man brought to Rebecca's family, especially her father, who spent several years in and out of the hospital for anxiety issues, would be enough to ruin anyone. Rebecca mentions that years later, after this man had been in jail for years, he called Rebecca to apologize for all of the pain he caused her family. He was shocked to learn that she had forgiven him. Her story is an amazing story of overcoming tragedy and forgiving people who have hurt you. As a fellow pastor's kid, this story really resonated with me. I spent years resenting people who wronged me, but even more so, the people who hurt my family. I look back at the times I was confronted in the bathrooms by women who had nothing nice to say about my family, or the confrontations by board members who thought if they went for the defenseless children their point would be made (a chain is only as strong as its weakest link)... yes, those times were some of the minor things my family endured while in the ministry, but no one tried to blow up my house or kill my parents. If Rebecca Nichols can forgive those people, I can forgive them, too.

Friends come and go. My parents have etched that in my mind for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, I've lived my life according to a highly-controversial Dixie Chicks song, "Not Ready To Make Nice" Not exactly the Christian thing to admit, huh? I don't remember losing a friend being so traumatic in school. I guess I wasn't as emotional then or whatever. I guess I was just a different person then. All I know is I need to forgive them, too. These manipulative, lying, arrogant, untouchables that seem to wiggle their way into my life may not need forgiveness (since I have not received an apology of any kind, but instead a horrible reputation that all of my so-called friends believed instead of my word) but I'm going to forgive them. I have to - for me.

Friends come and go, but family is forever. Yes. The older I get, the more I see how that is tested and proven true. We are all imperfect. I get that. I have screwed up more than I care to admit right now. So has every single one of my family members, whether their blood or married to blood. There is something to be said of a family who fights. We fight all the time. Sometimes we're at each others throats, but most of the time we're fighting for each other. Sometimes I sit back and think, "How can they still be fighting this same battle after all this time?" Love. Whether it's romantic love or familial love, love is what makes us do what we do. Love makes us see what the other doesn't, who they are, who they can be. Love believes in us. Love encourages us. Love is us. Period. I don't care if they wrecked my car, stole my favorite sweater, or whatever the situation is - because I love them more than I realize most days - I will forgive them. They are always there for me. Even when I'm stranded in Monaca at eleven pm. Even when I have to admit I was stupid. I am always there for them, too. I might have to get over the initial shock, but I will always be there for my family - no matter who they are. So go ahead - try to mess with them. I dare you.

I don't remember a time where I truly felt worthy of forgiveness, whether it's from God or man. If I've hurt you in any way, I don't deserve it. I know what you're thinking - How can you explain why you forgive, but be so blind to why people forgive you? It's actually quite simple - I'm human. I don't believe I'm entitled to forgiveness. I understand sometimes you have to earn it. That's not the way it should work, but that's how the world works. I'm working on accepting forgiveness, but believe it or not, it's harder than actually forgiving others. You see, in accepting forgiveness from others, you have to learn to forgive yourself. Easier said than done.

Forgive those who hurt you, belittle you, and take advantage of you; but more than this, forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you.